that awkward moment when you go to cut the weeds and cut off your feet instead.

No, I'm serious. It happened in Greece. Quote:

"Lycurgus suffered for what he had done, since when he tried to cut down the vine which Dionysus had planted, he cut off one of his own feet instead."

Yeah. Not seeing how you could possibly do this. It's not like, a papercut where you sliced a bit of skin, right? That's understandable. But 'accidently' cutting off your own foot? And remember, this was in the days of no chainsaws or anything. He would have been using, what? A blunt knife???

And another story,

"..while Pentheus was mistaken for a lion by a wild band of Maenads, amongst whom was his mother Argave, and they caught him and tore him to pieces."

2 things I find incredibly stupid in this. First off, how do you not realise you're tearing up a man and not a lion? And then, by your own mother??

There's more too, only you can read about them yourselves in 'Tales of the Greek Heroes by Roger Lancelyn Green. Unless you want to stay sane.