Crazy Parental Moments

As you will have noticed, I write quite a few blogs on parents..just fyi it's because i have no siblings...and no life...(EXCEPT BIG BANG...7.00 EVERY WEEKNIGHT..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
Well the other day we were having a family viewing of Harry Potter one, (i.e. nothing else was on TV except Meet the Spartans...) and it was the part where Harry gets his new broomstick. As soon as Hedwig brings the package I exclaim, "It's Harry's new broomstick...the something 2000...", and almost immediately after my dad exclaims the Nimbus 2000...3
Is it normal that parents know those things???

Parents...never fail to amuse

Continuing on from the title...many readers may know that one of my best friends is a guy.
for a long time now, my parents were not aware of this and lived in blissful harmony with their supposedly "good kid".
The other day something came up and they forced me to tell the truth as they had been hearing me talking to someone at night time. this was obviously my mate calling me. As human instinct called, I lied...but my parents were smarter than that. 'It's a boy isn't it?' they said, ever so confident. of course I couldn't deny it anymore. And they knew exactly which boy as well...
Parents continue to freak me out...
how they know I have know idea...
I think I want to be a parent just to learn their secrets...

"Hey Girls!"

It's been a while, my friends. The end (of the year) is nigh, and we have much to celebrate!

Yeah, no, I'm not yet on drugs, but the world is lookin' pretty good right now. (Not literally. It's raining, again, and you're not gunna see Mars coming to hit on us any time soon.)

And the reason why of course is something we're all familiar with by now:

My Brother's Gender Confusion.

Which brings us to the story behind the title of this blog post.

So, we were walking home down the street and up drives a car, the passenger of which leans out and yells (yes, get ready for it) "Hey Girls!"

Which, on it's own doesn't seem very funny. BUT, (here we go) the people included in this "Hey Girls!" were

1. me

2. my cousin stephanie

3. my brother.

DAMN RIGHT.

afterwards, we tied a bow to his head.

Song of the Week

HELLO!  I’ve finally got something more modern…

Flight of the Conchords – Pencils in the Wind

These guys are hilarious.

Lives are like delicate pencils
If you push them too hard they're gonna break
And people are like paper dolls
Paper dolls and people, they're a similar shape
Hmm hmm hm

Love is like a roll of tape
It's real good for making two things one
But just like that roll of tape
Love sometimes breaks off before you were done

Another way that love is similar to tape
That I've noticed
Is sometimes it's hard to see the end
You search on the roll
(search on the roll)
Search on the roll
(searching round the roll)
Search on the roll
(search)
With your fingernail
Again and again
And again and again
And agaaaain.

Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with the tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff.
People people
Brown paper, white paper
Paper paper Stick it together with tape
Paper paper The tape of love
People people
People people
Pencil pencil
Pencil pencil
Paper paper
Put the pencil to the paper
Give the paper to the people
Let the people read about the sello tape
Oh baby baby
Yeah

Bret: You know, Jemaine, I've been thinking about love.
And I guess it's the very strongest adhesive.
Jemaine: Oh sorry, Bret. Were you talking to me? I was humming.
What did you say?
Bret: Oh, just... nothing.

Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Yeah
Ooh brown
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
Say it
Sticky
Stick stick
Stick it together
Ye-yeah

guesss who!! :D

WHOOOOOOO ?!

Ask and ye shall recieve.

Merry Christmas Readers!

Hey guys, it’s Christmas!  Here’s a lil personal message because it’s Christmas and I’m feeling nice and yeaaah.

It would be funny if it wasn't me

Ask me how my day was.  Go on.

I am sitting by the laptop watching a movie obtained through completely legal methods when my mum calls and asks me to make dinner and clean the house (just casually).  Therefore I pause my movie and go find that secret stash of cash all asians keep hidden in their homes and walk down to the supermarket where along the way an old man sitting at the bus stop yells 'BLACK SHEEP' at me.

During the eight minutes I was in the supermarket karma decided to be a bitch and made it rain outside - this is unfortunate seeing as i was wearing a white shirt and jandals.  My feet slip out from my shoes as I cross the road and I trip, sending pork ribs flying onto the pavement and when I return home completely soaking I find that I did not bring a house key with me. 

This is where it gets good

I realised I had left my bedroom window partially unlatched meaning I could open it with a stick.  Unfortunately my bedroom is on the second story of our house meaning I had to climb onto an outdoor table and up a plaster column, grab/dent/almost break the gutter and hoist myself onto the roof where i then climbed to my window and unlatched it.  

Actually, here's a picture  

After unlatching the window I fell onto my glass desk and broke multiple pieces of office equipment including my lamp. 

So, how was your day?

Also, be thankful you don't have a three year old sister who makes you chase her into strange shops that turn out to be dodgy R18 porn stores where the seedy man behind the counter leers at you in a very disturbing manner

blargh. where to start?

summer holidays: fun. in the sun. go for a run. look what i've won (only applies to carnival goers). err, i've run out of things to rhyme- un ?

ok, so the point is that I should really be living it up (that's the wonder of the Southern Hemisphere for ya). right? RIGHT?

yes, very good, but would you like to take a look outside? mm. yeah. picture that, but UNDERWATER, since it's been raining enough to make a live rerun of Noah's Ark. seriously.

and point two, - this means that the aforementioned rain was point one - , every hour, i find myself applying Salvacool to William's bloody gum wound. yup. he went to the dentist and had surgery to move an ingrown tooth or something. i'd feel bad for him if it wasn't for the fact that i was the one who was cleaning up after him.

haha, there was a typo and it read " William's bloody gun wound ". i don't really have to say whose hypothetically (??) gun it woul be. do i?

fine. it would be mine.

dummy.

what do you think of marley wildish?

shes pretty annoying and totally U G L Y and I hate her voice and her hair and her face .... LOL just kidding. She's awesome.

Ask and ye shall recieve.

Song of the Week

This week I haven’t had the luck of any modern music – again.  Today’s song is:

A Little Priest – Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet St

So it’s a bit twisted this song.  Actually, the whole movie (or originally stage show) is a bit twisted.

Basically, the story follows a barber (Sweeney Todd, Johnny Depp) living in London with Pie Shop owner Mrs Lovette (Helena Bonham Carter).  Pretty much, he slits the throats of the men he shaves and Mrs Lovette uses the meat from his ‘customers’ in her pies.  It’s all quite gruesome really.  Not for the faint hearted.  But being the strange person I am, I kind of enjoyed it.  And so I bought the soundtrack.

And that, my friends, is why it is on my iTunes (bad English?)

Movies...but only two because i'm poor and can't afford more

The Social Network
I found this movie rather pointless and decided that it should be rated AO because it is too complex for people like me and my best friend, those of whom have low attention spans and sit through movies saying “What just happened?” and “Who’s that guy”, or maybe just people like me that say “OMFG THAT GUY’S INDIAN…RERESENT BRADA!” So only watch this movie if you have a long attention span and actually care that the Mark Zuckerburg character was blatantly stolen from the most talented, incredible, amazing, fantastic, smart, attractive SHELDON COOPER.
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
I didn’t really pay attention to this movie because I was too busy looking at HOW HOT EDMUND AND CASPIAN WERE…OMFG THEY ARE SO HOT. The movie was quite consistent with the high quality set by the other two movies, but I don’t understand how the director overlooked the two books that weren’t made into movies, The Horse and his Boy and The Magician’s Nephew. Í also don’t understand why in this movie, Lucy has a sudden low esteem and thinks that Susan is beautiful…all I think is that she needs a trip to the orthodontist. But oh well, back to CASPIAN AND EDMUND…WOAH. Watch it…it’s definitely worth it….♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

READING...a special blog for all those book clubbers reading

The Lost Books
These are a series of four books which I got from the ADULT SCIENCE FICTION section…jealous? Who cares about what the books are about, they’re from the ADULT SCI FI section…chur
Wicked
I haven’t actually started reading it but I would recommend it because the pages ends are green…which is why I got it out…GGGRRREEEEEENNN
Dan Brown
Author of The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, both crap movies but amazing books. I recommend you getting not only two copies of the book but the movie as well, and then proceed to give one copy of the book to your father. Read the book then have daily nerd conventions at the dinner table about the flaws in the book. Once the book is finished, watch the movie together and then you can say “That wasn’t in the book!” every five seconds TOGETHER...isn’t that lovely. You see Oh My Bored is against family violence and promotes bonding time…because it’s not okay.

Other TV shows...yes i watch things besides J.S....

Phineas and Ferb (Disney Channel)
Seriously…WHO DOESN’T LIKE THIS PROGRAMME (if you don’t, let me know where you live so I can get my people onto you xp). If you do intensely enjoy P and F, feel free to visit www.kissmeimgujurati.tumblr.com, for more…and refresh compulsively to boost up the hit counter. My personal favourite characters are Baljeet and Beauford…a match made in heaven, the nerd and the bully, and of course, Baljeet REPRESENT BRADA. And I also enjoy seeing Candace’s boyfriend Jeremy, voiced by the most attractive and talented Mitchel Musso ><
Live at the Apollo (Comedy Central)
L.A.T.A. is a stand up show performed by first class comedians at the Apollo Theatre in London, England. I must let you know, if you watch this program and then go to one of my stand up shows, (-_-)you will probably hear recycled jokes from that program…JK I would have been on the episode of L.A.T.A that you watched! Me and my family continue to hold weekly viewings of this programmes and although sometimes it does get a little awkward, Dad always manages to lighten the mood by expressing such quips as “Do you think his grandma’s listening?”
Futurama (Comedy Central)
This program has been around for a while but I have only got around to watching it now…the holidays are an amazing time of year, introducing you to things you would have never done before. It’s basically about Leila, a Cyclops chic with purple hair who captains a crew consisting of Fry, your average dumb human; Dr Zoidberg, a squid thing; the Professor, an old man who i swear will die any second; Amy, the token Asian; the random Jamaican dude and Bender, a robot designed to bend things…and that’s it, they explore the universe looking for stuff to do, much like myself.
How It Should Have Ended (Comedy Central)
H.I.S.H.E. is one of those random programs which air in the ad break, and basically takes popular movies and changes the ending so it makes the directors think that their ending was crap. My personal favourite was the Star Trek one, where Kirk decides to turn Starship Enterprises around straight into a black hole, but unfortunately as soon as the ship comes out; it is blasted by Darth Vader (cue deep breathing)...guts for them. For more, visit www.howitshouldhaveended.com
Mythbusters (Discovery Channel)
My love of Mythbusters began in Year 7 when Mr Bajema showed us pirated tape recordings of the science related program to ease the stress of school. The Mythbusters take everyday myths and unrealistic YouTube videos and try to prove or disprove them. I recommend this show if you enjoy explosions, physics and a redhead doing lame accents.

Jersey Shore (MTV)..yes, i went there sista

I have unfortunately been bitten by the drunk, obnoxious American teenager bug and have taken to watching Jersey Shore…I know…WTH. But I have found that I am now hooked and cannot avert my eyes when the cliché and totally unexpected drama unfolds. If you have never watched an episode, good on ya mate, but basically the cast portray the attitudes and values of people from New Jersey…jokes…they are some of the best and brightest of New Jersey (cue laughter), JK. But in all seriousness, I have carefully analysed each of the cast members and here is what I’ve come up, which will most likely prevent anyone who doesn’t already watch Jersey Shore, from watching Jersey Shore…sorry.

MIKE “The Situation” is probably the most mature person out of them all and is a good leader…to herd up all the girls when they get drunk in the club. The Situation also has tank abs (YOU GOT NOTHIN ON ME PUNK) and has a nice face; not attractive, just one that you can look at without puking, unlike the others…
NICOLE “Snookie” has nice hair but an ugly face. She also left her boyfriend when she came on Jersey Shore which was dumb because he called one night telling her that he had cheated on her…dumbass….or stupidhead, as Snookie likes to say
VINNY is probably the most attractive out of all the Jersey Shore people…and that says a lot…A LOT....BEACAUSE HE'S NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE
JENNI “JWoww” has big lips and big boobs…you can’t see or hear anything past her boobs and her lips so that’s all I gotta say about her.
PAULY D has rank hair…not in a good way. He spends aaaages on it in the mornings and uses probably half a pottle of hair gel…but that’s his problem.
ANGELINA is ugly, has as much personality as a dead fish and is plain dumb. She also has a fringe that brings shame to all people with fringes...*cringe*
RONNIE is fat and thinks he’s real skux but he ain’t….he’s just fat. He also goes out with Sammi, but then goes to the club and makes out with all these girls…DESPERATE
SAMMI “Sweetheart” is the nicest out of all the Jersey Shore people, maybe because she wears glasses, which makes her seem remotely normal. She goes out with Ronnie, but has no idea what goes down when he leaves her to go to the club…maybe she’s not as smart as she seems…

Awake from hibernation...back from the dead...

As a smart Asian kid, I have deducted that I do not contribute a heck of a lot to Oh My Bored and therefore I am ashamed…guts. So because I am doing other things other than blogging (i.e. watching TV, reading, watching movies, playing Sims) I have decided to write a series of blogs on other things I do instead of blogging (i.e. watching TV, reading, watching movies, playing Sims)…ENJOY (as I try to make my dreams of being an epic stand-up comedian a reality through text blogging…chur)

so then do you like your tumblr or blogger site better?

Well, we as 'ohmybored' don't actually have tumblr. It's an individual thing. But on a personal basis, I think Tumblr takes the win.

Anything and everything. Just ask it.

diS maeks Mee s0und lyKee Ae reTaRD

This is what i received in a txt message today.


'hEy ther d00d. wutt Yew uPp teW?'


Don't get me wrong, i use txt language like everybody else but this really is taking it too far.  
Tew? TEW?! What the hell?! You just used three letters to spell a two letter word!! Doesn't that kind of go against the whole 'shortening words to fit in a txt' thing?
And random capitilization?  There is no need to put capital letters in the MIDDLE of a word!  
Let me just clarify, dude has the SAME number of letters as dood except that dude is an ACTUAL word.  This also applies for 'wutt'.  And yew? It's a species of tree for crying out loud!


*sigh*  


And a note to those others who txt like this.
STOP IT
You sound like a retard who can't spell, pronounciate, or use grammar correctly 

Song of the Week

Okay guys, I’m trying out this new thing where every week I share a song with you guys.  I’m going to try and make it as random as I can so I’m putting iTunes on shuffle and we’ll see what comes up.  I promise to put it up no matter how outrageously embarrassing or strange it is. 

Um, let’s just see how this goes…

Okay so random song of the week is:

Frank Sinatra – That’s Life

And this is one of the reasons why I don’t let people listen to my iPod.  I hate those kids who’ll just take out one of your earphones and stick it into their ears.  Mainly because they’ll be smearing all their earwax onto them, but also, it’s kinda embarrassing when they catch me listening to music that was written more than half a century ago.  I can’t say that I’m quite in tune with mainstream music.. 

But anyway, no matter how ‘modernized’ or ‘mainstream’ you are, you haven’t lived if you’ve never heard beautiful voice of the late Frank Sinatra.  It’s magic.

And yeah.. Maybe next week iTunes will whip up something more modern .. Maybe.

Hey! You from Paeroa!

So, not to be weird or anything, but I totally noticed you've visited, what, 3 times in a day?

CONGRATULATIONS. :)

unless you're actually 3 different people. which is still pretty cool of you (plural?).

In any case, you get a prize!

A little wislet (yeah. a niblet of wisdom.) : Do not propose to strangers on a dare.

Because 1, it might be some bald old guy, and so your 'friends' will forever retell this story and 2, what if they say yes??? What do you do then? Is there some kind of law against making this joke?

It wasn't even a New Year. =='

Chinese Proverb

'Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead' 

Just so you know

Let's just clear some things up shall we?

• The Telephone

Invented simultaneously by Alexander Graham Bell AND Elisha Gray except Bell was the first to the patent office.

• Apes

Are not the most intelligent animal, porpoise's are

• 'Playing video games rots your brain'

Not scientifically possible unless you play video games in a room full of fungi spores

• Fortune cookies

An american invention

• The seven deadly sins

There are actually eight, they were originally: gluttony, lust, avarice, sadness, anger, apathy, vainglory, and pride

• Brass instruments

Originally made from wood

• 'You're brain is more active when you're sleeping than when you're watching TV'

This is true.  Except that you're brain is equally active when it's sleeping as when you're awake, so an equivalent of this sentence would be 'You're brain is more active when you're thinking/reading/learning than when you're watching TV'

• A Coward

Literally, someone who watches over cows.

• The Mad Hatter

Not fictional, he existed in reality - mercury was used to shine hats which would cause psychosis

Hypocrite!

Yeah, that would be me. Quote:

"You don't know the meaning of clean

til you've gone 4 days without a shower."

Gross, yes, but those very words came out of my mouth the other day.

Words of wisdom, kids. If you really wanted, I could also provide you with some hidden life meaning to it - no good without bad stuff - but for now, just take it literally.

I did.

And my life is complete again…

Tumblr is DOWN.

Hey Guys,

So it’s officially the first day of summer vacation for us, unfortunately the sun didn’t get the memo so it was all grey skies.  And just to top it all off, my dear friend and life source Tumblr, is down.

Now I knew this was coming.  Hell, the banner at the top of my page had been warning me of the coming ‘maintenance’ period but I didn’t know it would take that long!  It’s been more than twelve hours and still no Tumblr for me.  It was working this morning.  Kind of.  This leaves me bored and tired and frustrated because I spent a whole day doing chores instead of Tumblr.  But, I guess all I can do is wait… and rant.. which is what I’m doing. 

I think I wrote a blog early on about how awesome Tumblr is.  It is truly awesome when it’s up and running. 

I usually don’t condone real life friends/people I hate getting Tumblr cause I pretty much spill my life’s secrets and creepy fetishes on there.  But heck, there is only one person in the world who I’d hate to see my Tumblr – and I’m pretty sure they’ve already seen it.  So here’s my link – you’ll be needing it after you join because YOU WILL BE JOINING.

me; http://vaccuumshateme.tumblr.com
pri; http://kissmeimgujurati.tumblr.com

other notable people to follow ^^

http://anthemoftheheart.tumblr.com
http://savingthebestforlast.tumblr.com
http://coconutquarter.tumblr.com
http://deadbait.tumblr.com
http://heythomhey.tumblr.com
http://proudofit.tumblr.com
http://quimvaa.tumblr.com

there’s more.. except I don’t know them off the top of my head and i can’t just check tumblr because NO.  BECAUSE IT’S DOWN.  YEAH THAT’S RIGHT.

Insanely large lingerie

Have you ever walked down the street (as we all do sometime in our lives) to buy your lunch, and have two men walk past pushing a clothing rack adorned with a HUMONGOUS red BRA?

Yesterday, i too could have said that such a thing has never happened me, but alas, no longer.

And when i say humongous bra, i mean literally as big as i am, perhaps even bigger (i was torn between staring and covering my eyes in shock).
Maybe it was a promotion of some sort......yes, i'm going to stick with that theory and you should all do the same.

Please don't think i'm kidding......

what are horcruxes? x)

HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HORCRUXES ARE ?! voldemort is not happy.

Ask and ye shall recieve.