Things That Irritate Me.

As a rule, there shall be no naming of names. Any names. But people will be criticised. Some blatantly obvious, others in-jokes that you might relate in your own life. We hope you won't. These people will be pretty annoying.

Not sure if I should, but here goes anyway. Nothing is off limits.

She was crying the other day, in public. What from? Who cares? Happens nearly every day now. Unsurprising really. The most eye twitching thing though, is that she thinks I'm her friend and that I listen to her when she talks to me. I've never done anything to make her like me. But still, she will talk in that irritating manner of hers to me about all the problems in her life and expect me to care. They're not even real problems. I have to distract my hands around her, in case they are suddenly propelled towards her neck in a vice-like grip.

People who try to sound smart. Someone actually one said to me "You're so condensing." Condensing? What was I? Sweetened milk? And when I asked him "Don't you mean condescending?" He had the decency to look caught out for a second before walking away saying "That's what I said." Dumbass.

People with weird laughs. I consciously try not to be funny around these people, just so I don't have to hear their creepy chuckles. These people go around thinking I'm a boring person, but the truth is, I'm very funny. Their laughs just freak me out. This one girl, it was a shriek for her. She screamed laugher. Into your ear. You made a face, she screamed and people phoned the ambulance.

Which brings me to a girl we affectionately refer to as Vanvan. Her face is so hideous, it brings tears to your eyes. But she doesn't even know! People can go "Oh! You're so pretty!" (while vomiting inside)and she will nod, as if the reason people laughed when they saw her was because she was such a funny person. So really, she should be Ambulanceambulance. That way, when someone gets a stroke upon seeing her and calling her name, someone will already have phoned for help. Genius.

Note: vanvan is not a real name, therefore the mention of it doesn't break the rule. and plus, it wouldn't be as amusing if you didn't know.

And now that I think about it, this should really be called 'People that irritate me'. But wait. That last one. Doesn't really count.